I didn’t see this coming.
As I sat in a GSA after school meeting with a super cool awesome group of students the iPhone flashed news of another school shooting. I turned the phone over not wanting to be pulled out of what was a very good moment in time for…what sometimes feels like the new normal. The painful details would be there for me to read end of work day. Because I go in and out of schools all the time, I am very aware of the precautions schools take in Delaware to keep our students safe from unwanted individuals entering campus with intent to do harm.
I wasn’t prepared to read so many dead after leaving the GSA to view the headlines. I also didn’t expect anything to change in the social commentary between those who support either side of the gun debate. And then #NeverAgain happened. I am indeed surprised by this new student born/led movement called #NeverAgain.
I DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING!
I have sat in GSA meetings listening to LGBTQ students talk about balancing keeping their“safely” semi-closeted selves from bullies/parents who may kick them out of their home to living in fear of being “outed” to living with anxiety and sadness with not being accepted…to wanting to come OUT LOUD & PROUD…only to feel shut down from the school administration/faculty for any number of reasons: citing school policies, or student safety, or some other reason (per students who share with me they simply asked to hang a sign or make an announcement or host an event).
Before any push back at the last paragraph – not all schools are equal in their inclusion or exclusion of LGBTQ students – not all students give accurate reports, however I have heard enough to know the difference between a student exaggerating and a school hesitant to step more fully into LGBTQ inclusion for Middle / High School students. Schools are complex systems balancing competing demands with limited resources to serve all of their students in obtaining the education necessary to be set up for success.
The difference between the students founding the #NeverAgain movement and so many GSA students is this…#NeverAgain students can be OUT in their outrage and supported by parents, teacher, community leaders who share their belief and position.
Too many GSA students in our schools do not experience essential adult support and safety in voicing outrage over being repeatedly bullied, or unable to access a bathroom, or being able to hang a simple sign to promote an event or activity. It can feel like – as one student shared with me – a don’t ask, don’t tell – school environment where LGBTQ students do not believe they are as safe and as supported as their heterosexual/cisgender peers.
Both groups of students (the #NeverAgain and the GSA’ers), however, are seeking the same, profoundly simply goal: to live…to laugh…to love life…to obtain a good education to be set up for success.
In the days to come as our national debate on school safety takes center stage once more, please enter into a reflective dialogue with any school you may be affiliated with; and respectfully ask the administration/faculty on how our Delaware Middle/High Schools may be safer, more supportive of our LGBTQ students, their allies and the parents who love and support their kids.
#SafeSchool – I would like to see this come to Delaware!
Resources for Safer Schools:
More Than a Safe Space: How Schools Can Enable LGBTQ Students to Thrive, American Educator 2016-17 full edition available for download. Articles included:
- More Than a Safe Space
- Coming Out in High School
- The Professional Educator
- Understanding Bullying Behavior
Safe and Caring Schools for LGBTQ youth– for counsellors.pdf
Create Inclusive, Affirming Schools for LGBTQ Students – Grade Specific Teacher Resources from SCHOLASTIC